9 months

On June 29th 2009 at 6:05p.m. I had to do the worst thing a mother would have  to do.

 I had to let one of the most wonderful young men leave my life. 

Danny was an amazing young man. He went threw things you could not image. And he always had a positive attitude. 

He came to me the night before we had to let him go. And told me he made this choice on his own he didn't want me to quite my job and take care of him for the rest of his life. He said he would not be the same.

So he made the sacrifice for me. He told me

 "Mom you made a lot of sacrifice for me when I was told I had cancer. So I want to give to you what you gave to me." 

Boy what a gift from a wonderful boy. I miss him so much. A great friend tells me I worry about you that you are not taking the time to greave. I really didn't realize that I haven't grieved for him. I told her yes I have but the more I look at things I really haven't. I had to be the one that had to be strong for everyone else. Help my husband and 2 other boys get through it first. I think that is what a mom does helps other people first. She also told me Danny would not like that I am not taking care of my self.  Well  Jessica it's time for me. I am going to do things for me. If I need to cry or just do not want to be a happy camper then I will. 

So today is one of those days because I had to let my Danny go.

Danny I know this is what you wanted and needed to do. I love you so much. And thank you for coming to visit us all the time. I know you are here to make sure things are alright with us. 

Like yesterday when Dad and I were in the living room and you slammed my bathroom door to say hey I am here.

You will always be my son and I will make sure that no one forgets you. Because you are a amazing young man.

Thank you for coming into my life and giving me 18 wonderful years. I love and miss you so much.